Author: Katarina Stratford
Title: The Snake that could change skin under the moon
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Underlined Hermione/Ron - Hermione/Draco
Genre: Romance/Angst
This story is dedicated to Luna hoping she could read it any time soon.
I'd thank my love to introduce me to the HP world even if I did it all the other way round, Robylù to have share with me all of it and I'd say Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Tom Felton to have permitted me to figure out how all this could effectively work.
It always comes a time when we accept it like a statement.
There will be the person of your life, the one you will fight about and with, the one you'll know since the very beginning would be holding your hand and heart until the very end.
And that person was Ronald Weasley.
But there is that other one, who will never really share your life, who will never be part of anything will happen to you over the years with whom you'll share so little in words but so much in gestures, the one you will always ask yourself “how it could have been” in another place at another time.
Hermione knew all this. It was how to live with that awareness she didn't know yet.
This isn't something you understand in one second like some kind of magical revelation. This wasn't divination neither.
That day she was in the library, like she often was, struggling with a potion assignment for Professor Snape. Concentrated on her parchment she barely noticed the three Slytherins coming by and sitting at the table in front of her. She did so as they kept talking in excited tones, trying whoever to keep them voices as low as possible. She raised an eyebrow wishing they'll stop their babbling soon but as they seemed so absorbed in the talking she tossed to draw their attention. And then silence it was. All at once Pansy Parkinson, Astoria Greegrass and Draco Malfoy looked up at her.
“Is there a problem, Granger?” The last one asked her without any trace of a smirk on his face.
“I'd be pleased if you could raise down your voices while I'm studying”.
He just smiled in his typical way and responded.
“As for once it is asked so nicely I'll take into consideration to do it.”
Everyone went back to its own business but soon Hermione's mind left the potions to handle a totally other kind of reflection. As long as she could remember this was the very first time Malfoy did not insult her and just nodded to her request. Analyzing the earlier exchange she realized that was in fact the first time she ever asked him something without calling him names or being harsh to him. She asked a due silence in a due manner and he responded with the same courtesy. Will kind of, but surely different from what it could have been in another context.
Then she came to some sort of realization. She'd never asked herself what kind of person Malfoy could be with his friends or with anyone not trying to establish any kind of domination over him. She washed away the question when realizing she'd wasted one hour of her precious study time to something absolutely useless. She snapped the book, put her stuff together and left the place.
That night under her sheets she thought again about all this, trying to recollect any memory or images of Malfoy with his friends but couldn't find any. Crabble and Goyle weren't really his friends but more of his handymen, he never showed respect for them. There was Pansy but she seriously doubted it to be possible to establish any kind of relationship with a girl as mean as she was. Then was Astoria, he seemed nice to her but Hermione could read it as the flattery it should be to be loved and admired by a pretty one like she was. Blaise Zabini was out of order since their relationship was all about competition and pride. And it comes clear to her. She'd never seen him act like a friend because Malfoy didn't have any friends. As the rational person she was she came to the easy conclusion. “No wonder he can't have one as for he act!”, but she also was a smart one so the doubt also came. “What if he don't know how to act like a friend exactly because he never had one?”
She began to develop that particular anthropological interest in Malfoy's behavior that kept her busy most of the free time she didn't share with Harry or Ron. After some weeks she was sure of it, he was totally maladjusted. She started doing research on his pureblood, long genealogy family, reading here and there, asking here and then. The Malfoy'd always live closed in the Wizardly world, spending most of their time at their manor or at the Ministry and their only “fun” seemed to be those pompous cocktails the well connected ones used to organize from time to time. It also seemed the little Malfoy never went to any kind of school before Hogwarts, he had been home schooled by a tutor. His life was found out to be a sad and lonely road to the point of his arrival at Hogwarts.
One day that she assisted from a far away distance to the perfect and daily-style bullying against a young Hufflepuff she started to think about Lucius Malfoy and all the time he should have passed teaching his son that the only way to relate to others was to establish power upon them, have them fear you. That the only respect you can earn is the one you take by cruelty. What other model could have little Malfoy had? His mother was senseless, cold and closed. Has she ever took him in her arms? Did she ever kissed him goodnight? Held him after a nightmare? The idea of that little and lonely child silent in the dark and cold of his big bedroom, eyes over the unseen wishing for someone to come and just calm him down made some tears falling down her cheeks.
It was a sunny day and she was sitting on the warm stone of the hinter court. Ron and Harry were taking classes and only a few students were on free periods. Professor MacGonagall had dismissed her for the week as she was far in advance over everyone on the transfiguration program. Se she was just enjoying herself looking up at the sky, and on how much her life was sweet those days.
That's when she saw him walking in a hurry to the grounds. She silently followed him without even knowing why. He went down and walked fast to the lake, then he slowed down abruptly and just sat on some big stone, watching at the dark waters. Hermione could not see his face as he was staring the line of the horizon. She didn't want to be noticed but she slipped on a little rock and that made him jump and turn to her.
“What do you think you're doing, Granger? Do you follow me?”
“I'm a prefect you know that, and I wasn't really sure you were allowed to have free periods. I wanted to check you weren't up to something.” That sounded pretty convincing.
“Like what? Drown myself in the waters? You'd like that Granger?”
He takes her by surprise, she had no idea what to reply to that.
“Why are you here?” She finally talked.
“This isn't your business, since I'm not sneaking out of any classes.” He stood in front of her and added “Check if you want.”
“I believe you” was her response. Then she looked at him and the sun was high, coming right trough his face, and his eyes looked silverer than usual, his skin as one of a ghost and his platinum hair unnatural over all.
“Why are you here”, she asked again.
“I like this place” he just said, going back to his seat, looking again at the waters. “It's peaceful and silent and nobody ever comes nosing around so it's just perfect for me. Well, now that you've come I'll maybe stop coming.”
“Why so?” She asked while sitting next to him.
“Because you often talk too much, this could disturb my quiet.” He turned his face on hers, he wasn't smirking or what, he was smiling, he was joking. She smiled back. They just stood for a while in silence then he began to talk. She didn't really see it coming but he established a friendly conversation about classes and assignments and the latest gossips about other students. It was strange for Hermione to accept but she enjoyed the conversation all along. Then it was time for her to go and she left him on this stone, eyes lost in some tough he would probably never share.
The next day at the same hour he went back to the green spot and so did she. He told her some nice stories he used to build up when he was a boy and found a way to escape his house to stay perched in some three until it was dinner time. She never imagined he could be an imaginative person.
By the middle of the week he had shared with her more than he had done in the past six years.
She was walking in the Great Hall to join Harry and Ron for studying on charms when, arms so full of books that she was she let her quill fall to the floor. Malfoy was sitting just near, he went up, took her quill from the marble stone and just gave it back to her. This wasn't such a deal if this wasn't Malfoy being helpful to Granger. All the heads around were now up to them, Harry and Ron already pulling out their wands, but Hermione didn't blink. She knew how this sign of weakness should have cost him so she spoke a neutral “Thank you” and sat down at Harry's side.
“What was this about?” Ron asked her.
“What?”
“Malfoy being nice to you?”
“He must be up to something.” Echoed Harry.
“Honestly you two are getting paranoid. Maybe he's just in a good phase.”
“Malfoy doesn't have good phases, Hermione.”
“Who knows? Let's concentrate on that charms lessons, we all need it.”
Next day when she came to the lake she couldn't help herself and asked him about.
“Everyone was surprised at your gesture of yesterday, you know?”
He turned his face to hers. “Were you surprised?”
“In fact not.”
He went on his foot and stood in front of her. Once again the sun was bright and once again his eyes looked like the ones of a nocturnal animal.
“Why are you spending time with me, Granger?” He came close to her.
“I wanted to know what person you really were and now that I know I have a good reason to stick around, you know, from time to time.” She started to feel uncomfortable as he came a little bit closer again.
“What you mean by sticking around?”
“I don't know, sit and talk, have a cup of tea, why not studying together...” She started to sent his perfume next to her face while talking, she felt unsafe for a long moment, he saw it in her eyes and stepped back.
“So what about a night walk around the castle? I want to show you a place I love you probably don't know yet.”
“You mean afterhours?” She worried.
“Yes, I mean afterhours but you can trust me, I know how to go unnoticed on those corridors.” This was tempting for an adventure lover like she was but she had never been out afterhours if not under Harry's invisibility cloak.
“Deal.” She finally said.
“I'll meet you out of the Gryffindor quarters at midnight then.” He smiled and for once left before herself.
During dinner Hermione was absent, wondering if that had been a good idea and most of all trying to analyze what had happen earlier in the day. Why had she been so uncomfortable with his presence? It was the first time, it never happened to her before, with no one. Strange indeed that it has to happen with that particular one. If fact there was no serious reason to be worried, to feel uncomfortable with the presence of someone you hated for several years was not so surprising after all. Friendship couldn't be build in a day. Wait, when did she decided to be his friend? He was still the same git as usual. What was the point of all this? What was she trying to prove? That Malfoy could be a good person? Why couldn't she just let him be as she always did?
Her questioning went on for all evening in the Gryffindor common room. She went to bed last and laid all dressed in her bed. When the clock turned to midnight she silently stood up, put a disillusion charm on her roommates and walked out. The portrait opened slowly and she slipped out being in a way absorbed by the complete dark of the stairs and corridors. She hold her breathe for a moment and then she sent it again. That strong perfume from earlier, it seemed very close, she stood immobile starting breathing again, heavily. The he spoke.
“You're doing too much noise, Granger. Try to be silent until we won't stop walking. Take my sleeve and follow me.”
“In the complete dark?”
“In the complete dark.” She heard his robes move so she grab a piece of it, was it his sleeve or any other she couldn't tell. More than walking he seemed to fly through the corridors, the sound of his robes reminding that of a bat, of an owl. She had absolutely to idea where he was leading her. Were they going up or down? Then after a long stair she heard him open what seemed yo be a small wooded door, old and noisy. And then a fluid light came to them. A blue light. They were in a garret and on the roof was a big hole which trough was coming in the moonlight. They walked a few steps more on the old parquet until they stopped in the plain light under the holy roof and stood side by side looking up at the cloudless sky. Hermione was totally absorbed by the vision when he spoke.
“You can let my sleeve go now, Granger.”
She felt stupid and embarassed all at once, let his robes free and looked at her own shoes while he was continuing to look at her.
“You can leave my sleeve because I need my coat, Granger” and he took it down his shoulders enlarging it at their foot. Then he just laid down on it, hands under his neck. She barely looked at him and sat on the coat, arms around her knees. She thought that maybe the point was that he wasn't Ron or Harry, they didn't use to stick around together. Yes, that was all. That was all. So she laid back too, hands on her stomach.
The moon was beautiful, they could hear an owl from time to time.
“Do you come here ofter?” She asked.
“Every full moon. I found that place during a Quidditch practice on my broom. I noted the spot mentally, it took me some time to find how to reach it, I have to admit.” She appreciated his humility. She was appreciating him a lot in fact and wanted to be honest.
“I never thought you were the person to come to admire the moon at night honestly.” He turned on his side and raised up on his elbow.
“And what type of person do you thought I was?” He smiled.
“More to stay in your bed reading some dusty book on XIX Wizards families or something like that.”
“Pretty boring would I be.” They laughed together. She turned her head to him, it was almost beautiful to watch him laugh so genuinely, in the pale light.
“Well you never seemed someone to go hang around with friend at night.”
“Why so?”
“Common Malfoy you don't have so many people around you to go every night finding adventure under holy roofs.” Then she realized what she had just said, but obviously too late. His grey eyes became almost black while his pupils dilated and he pressed his tooth in his mouth in an hard and severe expression.
"That's why you're here, Granger? Because I'd have nobody to spend time with?”
“No that's not what I said!” He wasn't friendly anymore, watching at her like he had never done before, this wasn't anger, it was much more than that, like betrayal. She stood sit and so did he.
“Do you pity me, Granger?”
“No!” She screamed out loud and stood on her foot.
“Did you came here to offer me your compassion? Because I don't need any.” He came close to her face.
“That's not why I came.” She tried to take a step back but he grabbed her arm.
“Then why did you came?” She struggled a bit and let her arm free from his fingers, took a step back and started to scream.
“Do you want to know why? Because I've found out you can be a good and nice person, because you like lakes, moons, because not for one second you forbade yourself to share those thoughts of yours with me. Even if I'm a Mudblood, even if I'm Harry's best friend. Because you're none of the part you play. Because I like spending time with you, as simple as that is.”
He moves forward her, stood a butterfly wing flick from her face, enclose her with his perfume and the warm of his angry skin.
“Do you know why I asked you to come? Because I've found out you can be an understanding and simple person. Because not for one second you were prejudiced about spending time with a Death Eater's son. Because you're none of the perfect-which you oblige yourself to be to prove others that a Mudblood can be the best which of her age.”
She stood firmly on her foot but no sound could come out of her mouth. He had just talked to her like nobody ever did before, he pointed out something that was buried deep inside of her. That feeling of inadequacy she'd experienced in the Muggle world and then the inferiority complex she was confronted to in the Wizardly one. She wanted to reply something but couldn't find out what and finally spoke the truth.
“No one ever told me this.” She said raising up her eyes to him.
“I believe you and me are not so different in the end. We act just like other expect us to do.”
“But they don't pretend from me to an awful person.” She resisted, eyes now back upon the floor.
“Am I an awful person?” As she wasn't moving he raised his voice.
“Tell me Granger, am I an awful person?” She closed her eyes.
“Be a Gryffindor and look me in the eyes!” He had reached her point so she put her firm glance into his, tensing her neck and spoke quietly.
“No, you're not, Draco.”
How his name sounded and felt strange on her lips. In one second his eyes shrank to their usual and piercing grey. He passed the back of his hand on her neck, slowly and, she thought, trembling a bit. His skin was cold but she could still feel the angry warm of his body and could not prevent herself to start trembling. This wasn't meant to happen, none of them has searched for it. As she was about to say something without even knowing what he spoke.
“Don't question, Hermione, because there will be no answers.” And he silently kissed her cheek. It was soft and not cold as his hands were, he was about to retire himself when she said it.
“Don't. Don't step back.”
He stood there for a minute then with the same back of his hand slowly caressed her other cheek, then with the tips of his fingers her rose and soft lips that she disclosed under his gentle touch.
“Why you do this to me, which?” were the only words that were spoke that night.
How lips and skin reached in one another something they'd dared for a long time, how the fresh air around them ended up burning, how whispers dissolves themselves in the light night wind, would be sacrilege to say.
Life catches you up sometimes. Dark times came and there was no time for secret and passionate romance. The war and its cruelty, the search and its difficulties. When her, Ron and Harry had been taken to the Malfoy Manor, Hermione lost herself on more time in his at the time tired and oppressed grey eyes, no more like silver, no more shining, they were like the sad and infinite see by a cloudy day. When he said to Bellatrix he couldn't recognize them she knew she'd always been right about him.
When at the end of the battle she saw him on his knees embraced by his parents, she knew that was the very first hug Narcissa and Lucius had ever gave to him.
Then she made her way trough life, raised wonderful children with the man she'd always loved. From time to time she could see him walk his way into the Ministry from the window of her office but that was all.
Strange how memories can recollect in such little time.
All those past moments came to her while watching at him that day trough the steam of the Hogwarts Express barely paying attention to what Ron and Harry were saying to their kids. She looked at him, his beautiful son and his beautiful wife. When he probably felt eyes on him and faced her. And for a strange minute she saw that exact depth he let her enter so many times so many years before. Astoria lighlty touched his shoulder and he came back to an impassible and cold expression.
So he truly was a snake after all, like snakes he could keep himself safe under a rigid and impenetrable skin.
Hermione thought that suddently he looked a lot like Severus Snape, for who love and emotions had always been a curse.
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